I mentioned vampires in my last post and got some letters about it. Apparently, a lot of people are attracted to Dracula or his beautiful, deadly brides. But would you actually want to date him? I thought I’d run down the list of famous monsters to see if they’re boyfriend material.
Dracula
Why I’d date him: Always well-dressed. Foreign accents turn me on. Love it when guys kiss my neck. Brides could join in on the fun. Would let me do my own thing during the day.
Why I wouldn’t date him: Brides might get jealous. Aversion to wine means I’d always be drinking alone. Turning into a flying rodent is not sexy.
Frankenstein Monster
Why I’d date him: Talk about a hunk! Nice business-casual look in his sport coat. Hates fire, so he’s a non-smoker.
Why I wouldn’t date him: Just got out of a tough relationship with his Bride. Not exactly a gentle hand. Lots of guys have trouble expressing themselves, but this is ridiculous.
Wolf Man
Why I’d date him: Hey, it’s only a problem once a month; now we’re even. Wouldn’t have to persuade him to try doggy-style.
Why I wouldn’t date him: Mange. Fleas and ticks. Aversion to silver means I’d never get any good jewelry.
Mummy
Why I’d date him: Hello, he’s royalty!
Why I wouldn’t date him: Talk about a May-December romance; he’s 3,000 years old. Don’t want to get cursed every time we have an argument.
Any I left out? Disagree? Let me know!
What about the creature from the black lagoon?
DATE him because he’s a good swimmer and is the strong, silent type.
DON’T DATE him because of that fishy smell. Yuck.
I like this new blog! Keep it up!
don’t forget the invisible man. i dated him once or twice…
I love this!! You are so funny!! i would definately stick with Dracula, I don’t mind drinking alone and love the fact that I can have days to myself!!!