04
Jun
08

Dating a monster — literally

I mentioned vampires in my last post and got some letters about it. Apparently, a lot of people are attracted to Dracula or his beautiful, deadly brides. But would you actually want to date him? I thought I’d run down the list of famous monsters to see if they’re boyfriend material.


Dracula
W
hy I’d date him: Always well-dressed. Foreign accents turn me on. Love it when guys kiss my neck. Brides could join in on the fun. Would let me do my own thing during the day.

Why I wouldn’t date him: Brides might get jealous. Aversion to wine means I’d always be drinking alone. Turning into a flying rodent is not sexy.

Frankenstein Monster
Why I’d date him: Talk about a hunk! Nice business-casual look in his sport coat. Hates fire, so he’s a non-smoker.

Why I wouldn’t date him: Just got out of a tough relationship with his Bride. Not exactly a gentle hand. Lots of guys have trouble expressing themselves, but this is ridiculous.

Wolf Man
Why I’d date him: Hey, it’s only a problem once a month; now we’re even. Wouldn’t have to persuade him to try doggy-style.

Why I wouldn’t date him: Mange. Fleas and ticks. Aversion to silver means I’d never get any good jewelry.

Mummy
Why I’d date him: Hello, he’s royalty!

Why I wouldn’t date him: Talk about a May-December romance; he’s 3,000 years old. Don’t want to get cursed every time we have an argument.

Any I left out? Disagree? Let me know!


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3 Responses to “Dating a monster — literally”


  1. June 4, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    What about the creature from the black lagoon?

    DATE him because he’s a good swimmer and is the strong, silent type.

    DON’T DATE him because of that fishy smell. Yuck.

    I like this new blog! Keep it up!

  2. 2 Nancy
    June 9, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    don’t forget the invisible man. i dated him once or twice…

  3. 3 lovemonsters
    June 18, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    I love this!! You are so funny!! i would definately stick with Dracula, I don’t mind drinking alone and love the fact that I can have days to myself!!!


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